


Begin Again

by LovelyLittleGrim



Series: Anew [1]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Anxiety, First Date, First Kiss, M/M, Slow Burn, Texting, dating apps, hand holding, past trauma, soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-28
Updated: 2020-03-28
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:02:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23352142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LovelyLittleGrim/pseuds/LovelyLittleGrim
Summary: Josh downloads another dating app after deciding he won’t let what happened to him hold him back. He’s more than a little surprised to find a familiar face on the gay dating site.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Josh Russo
Series: Anew [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1687300
Comments: 41
Kudos: 345





	Begin Again

**Author's Note:**

  * For [tabbytabbytabby](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tabbytabbytabby/gifts).



> Gifted to Tabs because she makes me ship things I never knew I needed to ship.

It’s 2 am and Josh isn’t drunk but he feels every inch of this bad decision like he’s downed three shots of tequila in a row. 

He’s sleep-deprived and lonely, both of which are terrible motives, but they’re the only ones he has as he watches the slow progression of a new dating app download on his phone. It’s touted for its safety and the heavy vetting it does for all patrons— which is the only reason he’s even considered doing this again at all. 

It’s been nearly two months since the incident, but Josh can remember it in that altogether too clear and completely hazy way that people remember that bad things that happen to them. In his mind, behind every blink of his eyes is a quick memory he would rather forget. It’s all vivid splashes of color and slow-motion movements in his brain, dragging on again and again, even though he knows it hadn’t lasted as long as it felt— still the minutes tick by like centuries. 

Josh wishes he could forget it entirely, but it’s not something you just move past. He knows that, thanks to some good friends and several weeks of intense therapy. Josh also knows that he refuses to be a victim or allow his abusers to keep him from living his life. He’s not scared, not anymore, but he is cautious. More so than he’s ever been since moving to California. 

There’s no sigh of relief or fireworks that go off once that app is loaded fully. There’s just a little tile with a blue design on the front but it feels like an accomplishment. Josh doesn’t smile or pat himself on the back, but he also doesn’t hide the app in a folder. He lets it sit there, plain to see, like a little medal of victory. For now, just knowing that he downloaded it, that it’s there, it’s good enough. 

He sees it every time he uses his phone, but Josh still doesn’t touch the app for nearly a week. He’s not in any rush, he’s busy after all with work and friends and it’s spring time so there’s more people being idiotic than usual. Something about love in the air does that to people. Which is something josh isn’t eager to be a part of. Not yet anyway. 

When he feels brave enough again he lets himself open it, creates a profile, keeps it light and witty, nothing too personal or revealing. Then he swipes through photos. He tries not to think too much about how each picture is tossed to the left, even the ones that previously would have made him stop and drool. It’s not a conscious decision, it’s just what his thumb does all on it’s own. So, they all go to the left. 

It becomes an almost ritual for him. Every now and then he’ll open the app, let himself slide through the pictures. Swipe left on them all. It’s empowering knowing that he can do this, that he can look and decide and not have to commit to anything. Left they go. 

Left. Left. Left...

Except one. 

He actually pauses to laugh, light and startled, but not entirely surprised. The photo is nice—a clear smile, bright eyes, a strawberry colored birthmark that invites soft kisses. Evan Buckley. Josh loves to toot his own horn, so he had absolutely called it the moment he met Buck. Not gay, but something fluid when it comes to sexuality, Josh is sure Buck’s profile even says something along those lines.

Josh, for the first time in a long time, doesn’t feel inclined to swipe left. There are no unknown variables here, there’s nothing scary about Evan Buckley except that maybe he’s a little too caring and that he has an overprotective sister. Josh bites at the inside of his cheek, finger tapping lightly at the screen as he debates what to do. He thinks he might feel guilty if he swipes left. Buck is ridiculously good looking, sweet, literally a hero—he saves people’s lives as a job, runs into burning buildings and rescues kittens from trees for little old ladies. Who in their right mind would ever swipe left on someone like that? Insane people, clinically and criminally insane. 

On the other hand, this is Maddie’s little brother. _His best friend’s little brother._ That would literally be breaking the first rule of best friend club: Never swipe right on your best friend’s sibling. It’s illegal. 

He doesn’t think Maddie would care, she’d probably just tease him a little if she ever found out but… that’s the thing, isn’t it? Maddie would never find out. No one would. It’s not like anyone would actually know that Josh swiped right on Buck. So, why not? 

The thought, quick but still thought through seems to be enough permission for his thumb to swipe. 

_You’re Matched._

Josh almost drops his phone when the bright pink heart pops up with the bold words dashing across the middle of it. Buck swiped right on him. Josh can’t help but wonder what the fuck was going through Buck’s head when he saw Josh’s picture and swiped right. Was it an accumulation of guilt and loyalty because he’s Maddie’s friend? Buck’s a good guy like that, Josh honestly wouldn’t put it past him. 

Without letting himself think too much about it, Josh taps the hyperlink to Buck’s profile and snorts out a little laugh when he reads over the about me section. _Fluid_. He’d called it. He clicks the little icon for Buck’s DM’s, types out a quick message and hits send before he lets himself chicken out of it. 

_Hey stranger, not sure if you noticed but you swiped the wrong way. It’s okay though, I hear it’s common for people to mix up right and left._

It’s only several long seconds later that Josh realizes he just DM’ed Evan Buckly on a gay hook up site. He’s never closed out of an app and ignored his phone so hard in his life. He doesn’t even plug it in before he goes to sleep in the hopes that it’ll just die in the middle of the night so he won’t have to deal with what he’s just done. Ever. 

Josh plays the avoidance game better than… Than some witty sports reference that he would never be able to understand if someone else said it. 

When morning comes, alarm blaring from the bedside table, there are several blissful minutes when Josh doesn’t remember. He doesn’t remember as he’s reaching for his phone to turn off the alarm. He doesn’t remember as he stretches the kinks out of his muscles, he doesn’t even remember as he heads towards the bathroom. 

He does remember as he’s brushing his teeth, the soft exhale of, “oh fucking, fuck,” causing toothpaste to spatter onto his mirror, coating his horrified reflection. He barely rinses his mouth out before he’s darting back to his bedroom to snatch up his phone. 

There’s a little red number one attached to the dating app tile that tells Josh he has a message. He shakes his head and drops the phone onto the bed. He points at the phone, “No. No, I’m not dealing with this. I don’t need to know what the message is. I’m… I’m just going to delete the app and pretend like this never happened.” 

He does none of that because apparently he’s a masochistic idiot. He opens the app. 

The message is simple, friendly, almost verging on flirtatious. 

**Received: 7:13 A.M:** I’ve never had trouble with it before so I think I’m good, thanks for the concern. I’m touched, man. Looks like you might need a refresher course though. 

So, Buck really did swipe right on purpose. 

Josh doesn’t know where to go from here. Should he message back? Should he put this whole thing behind him? For now, he’ll just try that avoidance thing again. It worked out for a few hours. 

A few hours turns out to be exactly thirty-three minutes. He blames it on the fact that it’s his day off and there’s nothing worth watching on Netflix. 

**Sent: 8:44 A.M:** Are you implying that I’m one of those gays that doesn’t know directions? 

A minute hasn’t even passed before there’s a response. 

**Received: 8:45 A.M:** If the shoe fits… You obviously got lost somehow. 

Josh snorts, eyes-rolling. 

**Sent: 8:45 A.M:** I’ll have you know, I’m great with directions, Bucky-boy. It’s not my fault I saw a sweet summer child frolicking around on this app and got worried he needed help. 

**Received: 8:46:** Frolicking. Seriously? 

**Sent: 8:46:** If the shoe fits. 

Buck sends back a laughing emoji and then there’s nothing. Josh waits a little while longer to see if he’ll type something back, he even tries to think of something to say himself but comes up blank. He shakes his head and drops his phone back onto the couch and tries to convince himself that that short conversation with Buck hadn’t been the highlight of his week. 

It’s one day later when there’s a little red notification attached to his dating app. Josh frowns at it. He hadn’t swiped on anyone other than Buck and what small conversation that did have had come to a natural close. 

**Received 8:32:** _I had to ask Maddie what a sweet summer child was._

_And?”_

_And I think you're insulting my taste in men. So, I’ve decided I’m going to be offended about this._

Josh laughs and decides it’s better to ignore the way his cheeks go a little warm at the casual mention that he’s the type of man that Buck is interested in. **Sent 8:55 :** _How's that working for you?_

 **Received 8:55 :** _i don't know. You tell me. Your opinion change?_

The reply is quick. Josh wonders if Buck is at work or maybe at home curled up in bed on his day off. The thought makes him feel even warmer as he imagines what that might look like. All sleep soft and rumpled, sunlight caressing his skin. He has to forcefully push the thought away, head shaking with a little huff. 

**Sent 8:56 A.M :** _not even a little._

 **Received: 8:56 A.M :** _Then I’m still offended._

 **Sent 8:57 A.M :** _That’s tough._

 **Received 8:58 A.M :** _You could make it easier by just agreeing that I have great taste._

 **Sent 8:58 A.M :** _I could, but where would the fun be in that?”_

Flirting. Josh is actually flirting with Buck. And, he might be completely wrong about this but from where he’s sitting, it looks an awful lot like Buck is flirting back. That can’t be right though, can it? 

**Received 9:02 A.M :** Where WOULDNT the fun be in that? 

**Sent 9:02 A.M :** everywhere Buck. 

**Received 9:04 A.M :** That sounds a lot like you dont think I’m fun. I’m a lot of fun. Everyone thinks so. Trust me. 

Josh lets out a laugh. He’s supposed to be getting ready for work in just a few minutes. Really, he should have been done getting ready by now and heading out the door, traffic is always a bitch around this time. 

**Sent 9:05 A.M :** Yeah? Pics or it’s not true. 

He pushes himself out of bed and hurries to get ready, one ear listening impatiently for the familiar chime of his phone, but it never makes a sound. He brushes his teeth and his hair, forgoing any type of product. He chances a glance at his phone as he walks past the bed but there’s nothing on his screen, so he gets dressed and tries not to think too hard about everything he had said, or wonder what might be keeping Buck from responding. 

The morning passes slowly even with the usual hub of accidents and oddities that he's tasked with handling. He can feel the weight of his phone in his pocket everytime he shifts in his seat, but never feels it buzz with an incoming message. He tells himself between calls that he doesn’t care if Buck ever texts back. 

It’s halfway through the day when he finally feels the buzz of his phone. He’s due for a coffee break anyway so he pushes back from his desk and walks over towards the blessedly full pot of coffee, phone already out and in his hand. There’s the now increasingly familiar little red digit attached to the dating app icon and Josh wastes no time in opening it. 

There isn’t a message but instead a video clip. Josh blinks and hopes to everything that it’s nothing filthy as he clicks on it. Not that he would turn down a filthy video from Buck, but he’s standing in a room full of other people. 

The video opens on Buck’s face, he grins widely and says directly into the camera, “Here’s your proof that I’m fun and everyone thinks so. Prepare to be amazed, Josh.” 

The camera pulls away from his face and Josh gets to see Buck’s long legs as he walks up a short flight of stairs and comes out on the second floor of the fire house. There’s a table with two people, one of which Josh recognizes as Chimney, the other is a woman with dark skin and a bright smile. 

“Hey,” Buck says, elongating the word as he drops down into the seat beside Chimney. 

The woman instantly shakes her head, “Whatever you’re up to, we want nothing to do with it.” 

“Are you vlogging? I heard vlogging is popular,” Chimney says as he tilts his head to peer into the camera and wave. 

“I’m not up to anything and I’m not vlogging,” Buck says. “I’m here to prove a point to someone.” The phone wiggles like he’s waving it to catch their attention. 

“Fine,” the woman says with a heavy sigh. “What is it?” 

“I’m a fun guy right?” Buck asks and he sounds so sure and imploring at the same time. 

Chimney nods, face thoughtful. “Yeah, but you know… you’d be more fun if you washed the rig for me today.” 

“Eddie, come on, I’m fun right?” Buck asks as someone walks past the table, mug of coffee raised to his mouth. 

The man, Eddie, pauses, eyes darting down to the phone in Buck’s hand. He looks amused, like he knows what the video is for. “Yeah, you’re fun, Buck.” 

“More like funny looking,” the woman says and the camera swings back to her and even though Josh can’t see Buck he can picture the offended look on his face perfectly. 

“What, come on, Hen, remember when I got that cut out of Cap? That was fun!”

Hen snorts into her own cup of coffee. “Yeah. I also remember when you got crushed by a truck and almost got killed by a tsunami,” She says dryly.

“Those don’t count.” 

“They do,” a new voice says from off-screen. 

Chimney laughs. “The cap has spoken, Buck is a no fun zone.” 

The video ends then, just as a bell starts ringing loudly. 

Josh types out a response quickly, his coffee break is definitely over and Maddie is giving him a weird look from her desk. He’s pretty sure it’s because he’s smiling like some demented weirdo at his phone. His cheeks actually hurt a little. 

**Sent 4:52 P.M :** _Hmmm Proved nothing. You had one out of four people agree and I’m pretty sure he knew what you were up to so it doesn’t count._

He feels his phone vibrate with a response as he’s walking back to his desk but he doesn’t check it. He’ll save it for later as something to look forward to. 

  
  
  


The thing about buck is, he’s funny. Really funny, and much wittier than Josh had anticipated. He also doesn’t stop messaging Josh. Sometimes his responses are hours later, maybe even a whole day later but that’s to be expected when it comes to the fields they work in. It doesn’t change the fact that Buck still responds and seems to actually enjoy it. 

They exchange numbers mid argument nearly two weeks into their ongoing conversation. It’s Buck's idea because: _You're 100 percent wrong about the best type of pie, we live in America Dude, everyone knows it’s apple!! I can’t believe this. What's your phone number? This app doesn’t have enough key space to tell you just how wrong you are. But it’s WRONG._

And just like that they went from dming on the app to texting thanks to a text limit per message. Buck did expound the many attributes to apple pie, how it should be made, who makes it the best, how the rating of the pie goes up when couples with fresh ice-cream. Josh takes a ridiculous amount of pleasure in informing him that apple pie is nothing when compared to peach cobbler. 

Josh loses track of time after that. He knows days are passing--weeks are passing, but Buck never stops messaging him. They talk about their days, work, they argue over things stupider than pie. They talk about the good things, the bad things, how they were raised. Josh doesn’t think he can trust anyone’s parents that didn’t let their kids watch Harry Potter while growing up. 

It’s almost two months later when Maddie corners him at work next to the pot of coffee that Josh hasn’t even thought about touching yet, entirely too wrapped up in texting Buck about the weird call he just took. 

“Okay, smiley pants, I’ve had it,”Maddie says, startling him. 

Josh feels like a guilty teenager when the hand holding his phone instantly goes behind his back to shield it from Maddie’s curious eyes. 

“What?” He asks, voice higher than usual. 

Maddie presses her lips together to keep from smiling. “You know what. You’ve been on your phone at every break for the last few weeks now.” 

“So?” Josh asks, phone still hidden. He can feel his cheeks begining to go warm. “Everyone is on their phone at break.” 

“Yeah,” Maddie nods and then says slowly, “but not everyone smiles like you do at their phone.” 

He opens his mouth and then closes it again. He doesn’t have any type of argument for that. He knows she’s right. 

“Josh?”

Gnawing on the inside of his cheek he nods. He doesn’t have to tell her the guy he’s been texting with is Buck, but he should tell her the truth about the dating app and the talking. She’s his best friend and she’s been there for him through a lot. “Fine. I—I signed up for another dating site.” 

The worry in maddies eyes is instant. And Josh would be annoyed if it was anyone else but it’s _Maddie._ He’s touched over how much she cares about him, how much she cares about everyone. “Don’t worry,” he tells her, shoulder genty bumping into hers. He smiles. “ I’m being careful. No meets ups or dates. Just talking. Actually getting to know the person before there’s any type of contact. 

Her eyes dart down to his phone then back up to his face. Her gaze is soft. “He’s nice?” 

“Yeah,” Josh says just as softly as he thinks about the text from Buck he had gotten yesterday after a hard call. How Buck had let him vent and then how Buck had taken his mind off it. “He’s—he’s amazing, Maddie.” 

“Well,” she says and her eyes are a little shiny as she bumps her shoulder back into his, “He better be if he wants to be good enough for you.” 

Josh almost laughs. “Maybe one day I’ll finally leave the solo club and join you and Chimney in the ranks of domestic bliss.” 

Maddie snorts. She reaches past him for the coffee pot and pours two cups. “I’ll let Buck know that he’ll have to find a new comrade in arms for his club.” 

Josh feels his heart kick up at that and before he can try to persuade her to not tell Buck anything she’s speaking again, a thoughtful expression on her face as she turns to hand him a cup. “On second thought, he’s been a little too preoccupied with smiling down at his phone too.” She takes a sip, a thoughtful hum leaving her throat. “Maybe you’ll both leave the club, then we can all go on a date together.” 

Josh hides his face in his cup of coffee and tries not to choke. Buck smiles down at his phone? Is it because of Josh? “Oh is that so?” 

“I know,” Maddie laughs, turning away to head back to her desk. “Buck not in the solo club is surprising to me too.” 

He’s on his second break when his phone actually buzzes with a call. Josh panics when he sees Buck’s name on the screen. They’ve never talked on the phone before, it’s all been texts and DM’s. They’ve never spoken to each other. Josh doesn’t know what to do. Should he answer or let it go to voicemail. Maybe Buck will explain why he called him. Maybe he’s butt dialing Josh on accident. 

Maybe… Maybe Josh should just answer the phone and stop being stupid. 

He sucks in a sharp breath, slides the bar over to answer and presses the phone to his ear. “Hello?” He says into the phone and hopes he doesn’t sound like he’s about to vibrate out of his skin. 

“Hey,” Buck’s voice is low, likes he’s trying to keep from being overheard. “So, I have it on good authority that you’re off at six.” 

Josh glances over at Maddie. She’s not paying any attention to him, her eyes focused on the screen as she talks to someone over the headset. “Would that authority be your sister?”

“Maybe. Who knows.” Buck laughs. “So… listen, I called because I want to ask something. You can say no if you want, no pressure.” 

Josh leans back in his seat, his own voice going a little more quiet. “What’s the question?” 

“Go out with me.” 

It’s not a question, but Josh lets that slide for now as he asks, “On a date?” 

“Yeah. Tonight, about 7:30?” 

Josh thinks it over and hates that his brain flicks back to the cemetery, to what was supposed to be hot kisses but turned into fists and bruises that took weeks to heal. He hesitates. “I…” 

“It’s casual,” Buck says softly, like he knows what Josh is thinking and he probably does. “Other people, well lit, and you can leave at any time you want.” 

Josh thinks about Buck’s smile, kind, honest, nothing hidden in the depths of his eyes. “Yeah,” he says at last, “yeah, okay, where?” 

Buck rattles off an address and Josh writes it down on his hand in pen. When he hangs up he feels that same swelling sensation of victory in his stomach, the same he had when he took the plunge and downloaded the dating app. He smiles to himself. 

The address turns out to be an apartment complex that sets Josh's nerves on edge the moment he sees it. Buck is trustworthy. He knows that, but as he’s buzzed into the building he can’t help but want to turn around and run. The feeling grows with every beep of the elevator as he rides up to Buck’s floor, it practically swallows him once he’s in front of Buck's door. Buck had said it was well lit, plenty of people. He said it would be casual and fun. Josh doesn’t want to doubt Buck but he doesn’t see how any of this is what he said it would be. 

“You can do this,” he whispers at himself and then he knocks on the door with a shaky hand. 

The door swings open with a soft familiar laugh and Maddie blinks in surprise. “Josh?” 

“Uh,” Josh says, equally surprised because he knows this isn’t her place. He’s been to her place on more than one occasion. “Hey.” 

“Hi, come in,” she says, her brows wrinkle in confusion but do nothing to dim the happiness in her eyes or the smile on her face. “What are you doing here?” 

“I’m...” Josh trails off a little helplessly eyes flicking around the room for Buck. 

There’s a clatter and then Buck appears hopping off the last step of the stairs leading up to his lofted bedroom. “Hey,” he says a little breathlessly, one hand messing with his hair as he comes to a stop next to Maddie. “You made it.” 

“Yeah,” Josh says equally breathless. 

“He’s here for the double date,” Buck tells Maddie and Josh can’t help but notice the way his ears go a little pink as he says it. 

It takes several seconds for what Buck said to register. He blinks in surprise. “Double date?” 

“Yeah,” Buck nods and his smile goes small and soft as he moves closer. “I thought it would be fun to kick Maddie and Chim's ass at poker since we lost so bad last time.” 

“In your dreams Buck,” Maddie says. She looks from Buck to Josh and Josh can see her putting the pieces together. He tries not to blush under her knowing gaze, but he’s sure he fails if the warmth in his face is anything to go by. She reaches out and touches his wrist, squeezes once, like she’s saying everything is okay, and then let's go. Josh watches as she moves towards the table where Chimney is setting up the poker chips. 

Chimney waves when he sees him. “Hey, man, nice to see you again. Didn’t know you were coming.” 

Josh waves back but is saved from speaking when Buck snorts and says, “I told you this was a double date.” 

“So--” Chimney starts and then stops, eyes flicking from Josh to Buck and then to Maddie. His face brightens, eyes going wide. “Oh-- wait until Hen finds out.” 

Josh’s attention is dragged away from Chimney and Maddie when something soft and warm touches the tips of his fingers. He looks down to see the hesitant graze of Buck’s fingers against his own. When he looks up Buck is biting at his bottom lip. “Is this okay? I thought a double date with Maddie might make you feel more at ease.” 

Josh can feel his stomach do one of those stupid flips. Buck had been thinking about him— about how nervous he would be. 

“Yeah,” Josh croaks out and lets his fingers fully tangle with Buck’s. “Yeah, this is perfect.” 

When Buck smiles, Josh can feel the warmth of it in his core. 

He smiles back and lets his hold on Buck’s hand guide them over to the poker table. “You do know we have literally no chance of winning.” 

“Yeah, I know,” Buck laughs as they take their seats, hands never leaving each other. “ But I feel lucky with you here anyway.”

“Oh, oh that was so cheesy.” Josh snorts. “I can’t believe you actually just said that out loud. I hope you're’ embarrassed.” 

“I told you, it’s only worse in person,” Buck says with an easy shrug, not looking embarrassed at all even as Chimney fake gags from across the table at Buck. 

Josh shakes his head. “I might have to rethink this whole relationship.” 

Buck’s eyes meet his. “Oh?” The corners of his mouth are tilted up like he’s trying to keep from smiling. “What were you thinking before I said that?” 

“I was thinking,” Josh says slowly, letting the anticipation drag out. “About maybe keeping you.” 

“Yeah?” 

“Not sure now,” Josh teases, hand finally slipping away from Buck’s to take his cards. He puts on a mockingly serious face. “We’ll see. It all depends on how badly we lose against Maddie and Chimney.” 

“Superbad,” Maddie says at once. 

“Terrible,” Chim echoes. “I should have brought tissues for your tears.” 

Buck shakes his head at the pair of them. “I don’t know. I’ve been practicing. I think I’ve gotten better.” 

Buck did not get better. They lose and it’s just as bad as they all knew it would be. Maybe even worse. It’s fine though because as far as first dates go it’s the best one that Josh has ever been on and he’s been on quite a few in his time. 

The night is alive with people as Buck walks him down the street to his car, their hands have found each other again, almost like magnets in the dark. Buck’s hand is warm and reassuring as they pass unlit alleyways and crowds of drunken people swaying down the sidewalk. 

“I know this date technically isn’t over yet,” Buck says head tilted back to the sky as he speaks, voice just a little too loud like he’s nervous, “but is it too soon to ask you on a second date?” 

Josh bites at the inside of his cheek to temper his smile. If he’s being honest with himself he had hoped that Buck would ask him again before the night was over. 

“I always thought the rules of dating were a little archaic,” he says loftily. 

When Buck looks down at him in confusion he laughs and says, clearly. “It’s not too soon to ask me.” 

“Good,” Buck tells him, “cause I was going to ask you anyway.” He pauses, steps coming to a halt and making Josh stop with him as well. He swings towards Josh, brows knitting together. “So, that’s a yes, right? 

Josh laughs, a gentle tug on Buck’s hand getting him to walk again. “Yeah,” Josh nods, eyes falling to the ground where he watches their shadows merge together on the concrete as they pass beneath street lamps. “It's a yes.” 

When they reach Josh’s car, Buck opens the door for him but Josh doesn’t climb into the driver seat just yet. Instead, he turns to Buck and says, quietly, “Thank you for tonight. It was the best date I’ve been on.” 

Buck shoves his hands in his pockets and rocks onto the balls of his feet. “So far, wait until you see what I have planned for date number two.” 

“Skydiving?” Josh asks teasingly, leaning against the car next to his open door. “Caviar in a castle? It’s got to be pretty big to top this.” 

“I’ll keep that in mind.” 

They’re close now, Buck swaying into his space, but they’re not touching. Buck is keeping his distance still, keeping himself from caging Josh in. It’s thoughtful and careful and Josh almost feels like he can’t breathe through the sudden rush of happiness and affection he feels for the man standing in front of him. Buck isn’t like that man he went on a date with so many months ago. He’s good and kind and Josh… Josh really fucking likes him. 

“Is it too soon to ask you to kiss me?’” Josh asks, voice so hushed that he thinks maybe Buck didn’t hear him. His heart is pounding so hard in his chest that Josh had barely heard himself ask. 

“Not if you really want me to.” Buck’s staring down at him, eyes searching his like he wants explicit permission. 

“I do.” 

When Buck kisses him it feels a lot like winning.

**Author's Note:**

> [My Tumblr](https://lovelylittlegrim.tumblr.com)


End file.
